The Truth About Altruism

We are, all of us, selfish little creatures.

Have you ever done anything purely for the benefit of someone else? Have you ever engaged in any activity that uplifted another but didn't serve you at all?

Don't worry, I haven't either.

Once upon a time I wanted to go to Thailand. Because I was deeply steeped in the conversation of seva (selfless service) and I wanted to be a "good person," I started building walls of altruism around my trip. I was going to bring fresh water and clean latrines to the mountain village people. I was going to provide compassionate touch to orphan babies. I was going to study with the Wat Po monks and bring REAL Thai Massage back to the states and heal the pains of my community...

With these claims came self-entitled demands and efforts. I threw fund-raisers. I got a friend to let me live with him, rent-free for 3 months. I hit my family up for cash...all because I had the foresight and fortitude to make the world a better place, completely bereft of personal benefit.

Right.

Secretly, in the back room of my mind, I entertained visions of lazily writing a book in a beach bungalo, practicing yoga in the sand with 3 Thai girls while they massaged me, daily.

In those quiet synaptic corners, mentioned only in whispers, I was backpacking through exotic temples and riding motorcycles with gorgeous, mysterious European women.

In my dreams, I was basking in the spotlight as a great and profound teacher of eastern practices and philosophy, wooing my audience with sordid stories of my travels, melting hearts with tales of all the good I'd done.

In my head, I was a hero.

I never went to Thailand.

My fundraising efforts all went belly-up. Things went sour between my buddy and me, and I lost my free room. I failed hard, forced to face myself and all of my glaring inauthenticities.

Wah wah.

As much as we hold altruism and selfless service as ideals, none of us will ever reach them. No matter what we do, we do it for some semblance of self-service. We're aimin' for good karma. We're getting great publicity out of alignment with that super-sexy African charity. Or maybe it's just a case of heart-warming yummy fuzzies when we pay for that woman's groceries as she scrounges for quarters from the bottom of her purse.

In every case, there's a reward, and that reward is what we're really after.

There's no such thing as a selfless act.

Now, knowing that, why don't we go ahead and get really clear on what it is that we really want?

When you can stop pretending that the work you do in the world is all for the benefit of your others, you can start moving from a truly powerful place...the land of grounded reality.

In the land of grounded reality, there's no shame in our motives.

In the land of grounded reality, we understand that every human has needs, and that the best way to meet most of our own is to help others meet theirs.

In the land of grounded reality, you actually become a benefit to humanity, sans stickiness...sans ambiguity...sans bullsh*t.

So...ask yourself: WHAT DO I WANT?

When you have the answer (any answer), start moving in that direction. Along the way, you'll encounter other movers. Ask them what they want. If you can help them, do so. Don't forget your own journey, just team up for a few, learn a little bit, and behold the beauty of a dream coming to fruition.

If you don't know what you want, go ahead and ask someone else. Jump on a moving train. In helping them accomplish their goals, your desires will start to shine. When they do, move on 'em.

Had I known this years ago, I would have some great Thai stories to tell you today. I would have worked really hard to personally pull together the necessary resources, and probably still have done some great, heart-opening charity work, with pics to prove it up on my website.

But then I wouldn't have done a lot of the other cool stuff that brought me to this perfect seat on this perfect day.

Live and learn, right?

A wise man once said, "I know it's not all about me, but I'm the only one I think about all the time."

It's time to put that grey matter to good use, clearly and effectively, then watch the world bloom before you.

Tell me, my friend: WHAT DO YOU WANT?